Sorai, I Love You

I’m in love, starring into the eyes of my newborn baby girl Sorai Cacayuran Virgin. She was born Thursday, August 13th, 2020 at 8:05am.

It’s now 12:45am on Saturday and I’m up in the hospital holding her in my left arm as I type with my right thumb. My girlfriend Geneley is finally sleeping after being superwoman the past 2 days (really 9 months) and pushing her out of her Vagina. Holy smokes, women are hero’s for child bearing. Here’s what happened.

We knew Geneley could go into labor any day but contractions began coming quickly Wednesday evening once we got in bed. The contractions really took a toll on Geneley, so we called the doctors and let them know we were on the way.

We arrived at Northside hospital a little past midnight. Once checked in, the doctors said she was already 7cm dilated and proceeded to give her the epidural to ease the pain. We got comfortable and waited until 7:30am when our nurse Jennifer, aka honorary Auntie, instructed Geneley to begin the preliminary pushing. Once the baby’s head was in a good position, Doctor Anderson came in ready to get Sorai delivered. We FaceTimed our parents so they could watch the process. Geneley pushed a good four times before Sorai took her first breath of oxygen in the world, all 6lbs and 10oz of her. It’s was magical. I’m normally the most talkative person in the room, but at that moment, I was speechless. Tears immediately came to my eyes realizing life would never be the same. Sorai Cacayuran Virgin was here!

I’ve never been more proud of Geneley because of the poise she displayed throughout the birthing process. She was a real G. After delivery she spent “The Golden Hour” of skin to skin contact with Sorai. I can’t even lie, I was itching for my skin to skin time with baby girl, but my time came later after we headed upstairs to the postpartum ward of the hospital. It was around 11:30am once we got upstairs, still in awe of what just happened. Our room was very comfortable and I was happy to see the sun rays beam through the window. God blessed us. After the nurses checked Sorai’s vitals, I was able to lay with her skin to skin. It was a spiritual experience, one that’s quite difficult to truly put into words. Just know that I felt the love in every one of my bones; a feeling goes through my body every time I look into Sorai’s eyes.

Throughout the past few days, we’ve been taking care of the baby under the supervision of nurses, technicians and the hospital staff. Northside hospital is class personified. So many women of color, particularly black women, have assisted us during the process. It’s been extremely comforting.

I’ve learned a lot the past 48 hours. First off, my swaddle game is the truth! I’m wrapping Sorai up like a baby burrito. A few days ago I admitted to Geneley that I didn’t know how to change a diaper and now that’s a thing of the past. It’s an easy process, but I didn’t know babies poop out this very sticky gooey substance called meconium. I literally used 10 wipes to clean it up first time around. Last night as I was halfway asleep, I changed her diaper and as I wiped the old meconium from her butt, she began pooping out more, which woke me up all the way. Fatherhood comes at you fast! The sleep was tough that night because this is a completely new journey we’re on, and that’s ok.

Geneley’s mommy senses have fully kicked in which has caused her not to sleep because every time Sorai makes a noise she wakes from a light sleep ready to take immediate action. It’s beautiful to witness. So is breastfeeding. Thankfully Sorai latched on and is feeding. I cannot emphasize this enough, women are hero’s. They produce the milk that we live off of for our first months, sometimes even years of life. Every 2-3 hours the baby has to eat and daddy is absolutely no help for that at the moment. She’ll cry occasionally and every time she cries I think about the into to J. Cole’s album KOD where the lady says, “A newborn baby has two primary modes of communication. Laughter, which says, "I love this." Or crying, which says, "This frightens me, I'm in pain.”

Ultimately, Sorai is loved and healthy. I absolutely love holding her and looking into her eyes. Geneley and I went half on a baby and it’s the best investment I’ve ever made in my 26 years of life. I can confidently say the same for Geneley. My mom won’t stop calling and FaceTiming me either. Literally every 37 minutes she’ll call just to look at the baby and say, “Awe, my little So-So. GG is coming to see you soon!” I’m no longer her favorite, and that’s ok because it’s no longer about me, it’s about Sorai. The love of my life. We look forward to watching her grow and develop as we strive to be the best role models for her development. For now, it’s just one day at a time. We’re blessed. Fatherhood is the best hood!

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